Sunday, November 15, 2009

Getting Started...

Right so finally here it is, I find time after about a year and a half to write about something in an open space. I thought I had enough reasons for a lifetime not to blog about anything at all. One of the first things I thought why people blogged was to let out their feelings, frustrations and pains. Fair enough, its your space, do whatever you want. But I neither wanted to publicly open up my frustrations in the hope of "venting out" nor have I ever been a fan of cribbing about whats going wrong with life at the moment. Another guy who freaked me out about getting it right, was this classmate of mine who had an almost perfect blog page. He could talk tech stuff you will probably never understand even if you devoted all your time to it, and he could talk personal garbage with almost no revisions. Now I care a S%^& about how his blog looks, though he still inspires me (and inspired me to start my own blog as well).

My first blog was let down personally. I blogged about what made my girl-friend so special. I wanted to be sweet, but its probably the worst possible picture I could paint about her. A few days, and out to the trash it went. I tried a couple of attempts after that to fix it, but everytime the worser and worser it got. And by that time, I figured I ll probably take a long time to do it right and decided to quit my idea altogether. Sorry baby, you deserve something much more and lets see if am able to satisfy myself in completely describing what a heck of a beautiful person you are and loveliest to have ever set foot on earth. Till then, bear with my attempts like you have done so far :-)

So what am I going to blog about? Let me give you a hint...its just not because its my first blog that I have titled it this way. This weekend has been a big eye opener for me. And what exactly happened? Nothing if you saw what I did. Watched a crappy movie friday night, hung out with friends watching another movie at a friends place till late in the night. Went out for lunch with friends again the next day, saw a cut down version of the Dark Knight (which btw I have done about a hundred times already) and went ot a dance show where my friends performed. Went for a cruise ride with friends and danced all the way for about 3 hours with some crazy but fun-filled steps. I think it was somewhere there that it struck me how hesitant I was in making my moves (either on the dance floor or in life itself = )).

I have always been that way. Calculative, but hesitant. Not the first one to act at all times, but careful enough to observe what others are doing and making my moves. It has always been that way. But this way, I dont think am feeling a sense of love or joy in what I am doing. With all due respect to the personality I portray, I think now that a bold stupid guy is better than a hesitant calculative coward. What good is a life without chances. what good is it to live a 100 years and yet do nothing substantial to call it a life and say "Ok am done and ready to die". What about all the abilities that you alone think in the world you have, and no one else in this world believes in. You might as well ask, what about going through the depths of risk taking. Say you fall down, wont people just laugh at you? Obviously, they would. And my argument is
1. You dont care about what people say because most of them do not know what you are really inside anyway,
2. If you didnt experience the depths, you are probably not worth a life at all.
Ofcourse, there is the mix of the bold intelligent guy which is what I would bet on =) Its simply that at this point of my life, I want to no longer be in the background.

Thanks to all my friends who inspired me in an indirect way for this, to my lovely girl-friend who has been a natural believer in this thought, from birth and good luck to all those who think they can get me down in some way or the other. I want to say that a part of this realization came from what I have always believed in, inside myself and what a person I have become over the years. They are just poles apart !! And it cant be more obvious on what I need to do. Was there someone else who inspired me to write and think like this? Yes, J.K.Rowling, Christopher Nolan and Heath Ledger. One of my favourite poetry pieces (dont worry, I havent read more than a dozen anyways) is by Robert Frost and I remember this was my fathers too, and it always gives me a sense of the heights of inner abilities, aspiring efforts and the depths of focus I can go into are,

"...The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
And I have miles to go before I sleep,
And I have miles to go before I sleep..."

When I heard this the first time, I was around six and didnt understand much of what it really meant. But inheriting a few minor portions of poetry appreciation from the artistic minds of my father (who btw is also a brilliant sketch artist), it was not long before it dawned on me what I can gather from this brilliant, brilliant piece of poetry.

2 comments:

lav said...

Great Start!.

Its very interesting to know how and what you are evolving into ;). I hope you know that we also liked your old self [however u insult him].

Junk-artist said...

thanks...i didnt insult my old self...i gave him due respect :)